|Here goes nothing.
||[20 Apr 2008|03:09pm]
I have something that I need to get out.
All of my life I have been trying to roll with the punches, and deal with what life throws at me. In doing so, you find out things you like, things you don't like, etc etc. Well I have found that I don't like it when my boyfriend talks to other girls that he barely knows for extended periods of time. Call me crazy, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I don't care if anyone sees it as being insecure or whatever the hell they see it as. I DON'T LIKE IT.
It would be one thing if it was a hey how are you doing? kind of thing. But it's not. Frankly, its just getting really fucking annoying. The conversation is just continuing on and on and on.
He told me to tell him what I was feeling. But if I do that I just cause a fight which is not what I intended on doing. I want to be able to tell him what I feel without causing a fight. Whatever happened to handling things in a mature manner? This is why I never tell anyone what I feel. Because I really don't feel like causing an argument in doing so. So what do you do? Do you just not say anything?
I tried that however. And that doesn't work either. In that case, I just explode eventually. But then I think that why bother even telling someone how you feel when it's really not even worth it in the first place because some people are just so goddamn stubborn that they will not change regardless of what the hell you tell them.
Is it really so much to ask for change if you have a problem with something?
I really fucking hate relationships. And most people for that matter. Why do I even bother when nothing works out anyway. Sometimes its hard to distinguish if you really are having a problem with someone and what should happen next or if you're just having a bad day.
But isn't the key to a relationship being able to work through problems? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a relationship supposed to be a partnership? You're supposed to be a team. And you persevere together by communication. But if one person isn't willing to communicate and work through it, is it even worth the effort?
I guess it's just a problem that I have being able to see things from both sides of a relationship. I suppose I can see where he comes from. But I also can see where I'm coming from. (Obviously)
I guess the real question is can he see where I'm coming from and not just where he's coming from?
The answer, unfortunately, is not looking so good.